Saturday, April 24, 2010

Finally.

I've got a lot of blog posts that have been brewing for the last month but haven't been written yet because of finals and projects and sickness and such. And I'm not writing them tonight, either, because I'm reveling in the fact that I don't have anything I have to do right now (WAHOO for graduation!).

But I did want to make an important announcement here:

Today I did not have to take any anti-nausea medication.

Yes.

Second trimester appears to be here and loving life. And I am loving the second trimester so far. Never been this far before, but I think it may be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Update

They found the heartbeat right off. I mean RIGHT off. (Baby is definitely a show-off.)

If you felt a large gust of near-gale force wind this morning around 9:30, that was us breathing a huge sigh of relief.

Thank you for the prayers! It means a lot.

Insomnia; or, Flashbacks.

Tomorrow morning I go in for my 12 week appointment. I'll be hearing Baby's heartbeat on a Doppler.

Tonight I can't sleep.

Never mind that we've already seen Baby's strong little heartbeat, severely lessening chances of miscarriage. Never mind that I've been consistently sick for the past seven and a half weeks. Never mind that I haven't had any symptoms of anything other than normally progressing pregnancy. Never mind that my pregnancy symptoms are pretty much textbook pregnancy symptoms so far, something that never happened the other two times.

All I can think about, as I pray over and over again, "Please let them find the heartbeat right off," is that exactly 39 weeks ago, the exact same prayer was going through my mind the night before my last 12 week appointment. I was pretty confident that everything was fine, but I really didn't want to have to deal with the suspense and false panic if they couldn't find it right off.

And then the next morning they couldn't find the heartbeat with the Doppler. No big deal, I thought, plenty of people say they couldn't find the heartbeat right off. They took me downstairs just to check with the ancient sonogram machine. Couldn't find a heartbeat. But no big deal, because really, when I say ancient I mean you could barely even tell there was a uterus in that image. So they sent me to the hospital to check on the fancy new machine. No big deal, because I get to see my baby.

And then they couldn't find a heartbeat there.

And then it was a very big deal.

Both Shallow Man and I have a very good feeling about this pregnancy. We're confident that it's going to work out. But that isn't making the flashbacks go away so I can sleep yet.

Tonight, 39 weeks later, I'm praying the same prayer and just hoping that tomorrow will be a good day, with no further sense of deja vu.

Please, PLEASE, let them find the heartbeat right off this time.