It's a . . .

Baby was curled up, face down, just like a potato bug, and we weren't sure we were going to be able to find out the flavor at first. (In fact, we're going to need to get a second ultrasound in a few more weeks since that position meant the technician couldn't get as detailed a view of the heart as she wanted. She said not to worry, because everything she could see looked great and healthy, but they're interested in more detail right now. So we're going to have to go in and see our little one again. Oh, darn. :) How will we ever handle that?)

So we took a little break so I could poke around and see if we could get baby to wake up or shift position a bit. Mostly what I got for my pains was a half-hearted little kick to the bladder ("Leave me alone, Mom! Five more minutes.") But then baby rolled to the side for a moment or two, just long enough to get a little peek at . . .

Technician: And see there? That's between the legs.

Me: (thinking: But that's a . . .)

*pause*

Me: We're having a boy?

Yep, that's right -- it's a boy! This actually came as a pretty big surprise to us, since we've both felt pretty strongly from the beginning, and even before that, that this baby was a girl. We had even had a prompting about what her name was supposed to be. This meant that we hadn't really seriously thought about boys' names this time around.

We're very excited to be getting a little boy (I have three adorable nephews and love them all to bits. Although this does mean that my one little niece is going to be even more outnumbered now). But I am panicking just a bit because I have no idea what we're going to call him. And if we can't come up with a more viable option soon, he may just end up being Axel Danger or Commander Awesome. And while that's a name that, once you're an adult, means nobody will mess with you, EVER, you still have to survive to adulthood with that name.

So, welcome to our family, little guy. We love you more than you can imagine, and we can't wait to meet you. And I promise we'll figure out a better moniker than just "hey, you there, boy" by the time you make your grand appearance.


Baby boy celebrated the big reveal by doing a lengthy Rockettes impression last night, so Shallow Man got to feel a lot of real kicking, which he hasn't really been able to do up till now. So much fun!

The big day; or, A Poll.

So folks, today's the big day. We're getting our ultrasound this afternoon and get to find out what flavor of baby we're having. So place your bets! I'll let you all know when we find out.

Super-quick thought

So I've reached 19 weeks now and am almost at the halfway point and am completely freaked out by this picture here.

Really, do they have to make my baby look quite that, well, claustrophobic?

Honestly.

At any rate, my hopelessly squished baby and I are off to bed. With any luck I can sleep through until next week when baby starts looking much less desperately uncomfortable.

Really, now, illustrators, who thought that was a good plan?

Quick thought: Mother's Day.

This year will be the first time I have been pregnant on Mother's Day. But I still remember all the other years and want to take this moment to say that I am thinking of and praying for all of my friends who are struggling with miscarriage or infertility. For many years I couldn't go to church on Mother's Day because it was too much. I know it's hard, and I know there's not always much you can do about it. But I want to assure you all that you are loved, and wish you a happy (if bittersweet) day just the same. Peace be with you.

Finally.

I've got a lot of blog posts that have been brewing for the last month but haven't been written yet because of finals and projects and sickness and such. And I'm not writing them tonight, either, because I'm reveling in the fact that I don't have anything I have to do right now (WAHOO for graduation!).

But I did want to make an important announcement here:

Today I did not have to take any anti-nausea medication.

Yes.

Second trimester appears to be here and loving life. And I am loving the second trimester so far. Never been this far before, but I think it may be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Update

They found the heartbeat right off. I mean RIGHT off. (Baby is definitely a show-off.)

If you felt a large gust of near-gale force wind this morning around 9:30, that was us breathing a huge sigh of relief.

Thank you for the prayers! It means a lot.

Insomnia; or, Flashbacks.

Tomorrow morning I go in for my 12 week appointment. I'll be hearing Baby's heartbeat on a Doppler.

Tonight I can't sleep.

Never mind that we've already seen Baby's strong little heartbeat, severely lessening chances of miscarriage. Never mind that I've been consistently sick for the past seven and a half weeks. Never mind that I haven't had any symptoms of anything other than normally progressing pregnancy. Never mind that my pregnancy symptoms are pretty much textbook pregnancy symptoms so far, something that never happened the other two times.

All I can think about, as I pray over and over again, "Please let them find the heartbeat right off," is that exactly 39 weeks ago, the exact same prayer was going through my mind the night before my last 12 week appointment. I was pretty confident that everything was fine, but I really didn't want to have to deal with the suspense and false panic if they couldn't find it right off.

And then the next morning they couldn't find the heartbeat with the Doppler. No big deal, I thought, plenty of people say they couldn't find the heartbeat right off. They took me downstairs just to check with the ancient sonogram machine. Couldn't find a heartbeat. But no big deal, because really, when I say ancient I mean you could barely even tell there was a uterus in that image. So they sent me to the hospital to check on the fancy new machine. No big deal, because I get to see my baby.

And then they couldn't find a heartbeat there.

And then it was a very big deal.

Both Shallow Man and I have a very good feeling about this pregnancy. We're confident that it's going to work out. But that isn't making the flashbacks go away so I can sleep yet.

Tonight, 39 weeks later, I'm praying the same prayer and just hoping that tomorrow will be a good day, with no further sense of deja vu.

Please, PLEASE, let them find the heartbeat right off this time.